Support for Domestic Violence Survivors
A life full of fear…
His car rolls into the driveway. You hear a car door slam.
Your hands are shaking. Your heart is racing, Your mind spins…
Why did he slam the door?
You were hoping today would be okay. But as he opens the door, he looks at you with anger in his eyes, and you know…
Today won’t be okay.
It didn’t start out this way.
Not even close.
He used to be so charming and attentive. Back then, he was the most romantic man you had ever met.
When you first started seeing each other, he adored you. His sweet words and grand gestures always made you feel special and wanted.
That was when you felt like his entire world.
You remember thinking that it was too good to be true. Now, you realize that it was.
Your love and trust were used.
He needed you to trust him and develop feelings for him.
After all, it’s much easier to control someone who loves you.
And the gifts and romance…
These were but distractions from concerning behaviors like control and jealousy.
You told yourself the good outweighed the bad.
It wasn’t like he was hitting you.
It was just put-down here or there… or a strange reason you couldn’t spend time with your friends and family.
The violence only began once you were cut off from everyone.
But by then, you felt trapped.
He had already painted himself as “the good guy” to everyone. He even goes so far as to have weekly coffee dates with your mom.
Your mom… who thinks he’s “the sweetest guy.”
Part of you still wants to believe he’s the guy your mom sees, even though he’s horrible to you.
It’s hard to forget the love that started it all. And even if you could, who would be on your side?
The bruises aren’t always visible.
He is careful to make sure the abuse isn’t obvious to onlookers.
In front of your family and the few friends you still have, he is all smiles and jokes.
You wonder where that guy goes when the two of you are alone.
You’ve probably heard it over and over…
“I’ll never do that again.”
He apologizes. And for a while, you begin to wonder if it might actually be different this time.
He is sweet again. He even takes you on a date and brings you flowers!
But, without fail, he breaks his promise. And the cycle continues.
You’ve thought about leaving, but it’s not that simple.
You know he’ll never let leaving be easy.
He’s already threatened to hurt your dog if you try to leave. What if he means it?
And even if you did leave, where would you go? Everyone you know thinks he’s the greatest.
Frankly, leaving an abuser can be dangerous. You already know this.
But there are ways to do it safely…
You need a plan and support.
Whether you are looking for a way to make the relationship safer, want to leave, or have already left, I will support you in your next steps without judgment.
Whatever your circumstance, we will work together to create a plan to increase safety. Your plan will include responses that address the risks you have already identified and prioritized.
Some of the suggestions below may not be appropriate at this time.
Your safety plan might include: building a support network, starting a written record of abuse, decreasing time spent alone with your partner, or packing an emergency bag hidden in a central location.
We will also work to understand what you want your life to look like.
Together, we can rediscover your empowered self.
You have been living on eggshells for so long, constantly assessing for danger and ready to respond.
Focusing on yourself has not been a privilege offered to you.
And because of that, you might not know what you want.
So first, we will help you find safety in your body through coping skills and awareness while implementing the safety plan we created together. Next, we will increase your confidence by cultivating awareness of your self-worth. Then, finally, we will explore your potential and make room for you to discover your passions.
This is empowerment.
This is the key to living the life you know you deserve.
No matter what he has told you, his actions are NOT your fault.
NO ONE deserves to be abused.
And that means YOU.
I understand the cycles of violence. I know it is scary.
But you’re strong enough and smart enough to break the cycle.
And you’re not alone in this. I will be your ally. I will provide you with the safe space you need.
When you can do so safely, give me a call. If I don’t answer, leave me a message letting me know how and when to get back to you: (720) 383-4886.